Why Christmas can be a difficult time for many

Christmas is mostly seen as time of happiness – but for many it can be one of the most difficult times of year.

The festive period conjures up images of families eating turkey around the table, opening presents under the tree and dozing on the sofa during the King’s speech.

But it can also be a very stressful time for people, with extra pressure to make it ‘perfect’, on top of added financial and time pressures.

For those alone at Christmas it can exacerbate feelings of isolation, and it can be an extra challenging time for those struggling with their mental health or living with an eating disorder.

The most important thing to remember though, is you are not the only one feeling this way.

Here, Penny Tyndale-Hardy, Trainer from The Mental Health Toolkit, looks at some of the challenges of the holiday season.

Financial worries

With the cost-of-living crisis making everyday life more difficult to manage, Christmas can be a very stressful time.

We want to make it special, but this can feel costly.

If we are struggling financially, Christmas can add to our money worries – affecting the way we meet our need for Security and increasing our stress.

It’s worth setting a budget to help with this and to remember that loved ones value our presence more than our presents.

Loneliness and loss

For those alone at Christmas, the festive season can reinforce feelings of isolation, especially when we see other people posting images on social media of the great day they are having.

Although we may find ourselves alone at Christmas at any age, this is something that particularly affects older people.

Research by Age UK revealed 2.3 million of older people in the UK wish they had someone to spend time with at Christmas. Emotional Connection is one of our 12 emotional and physical needs which we all need to meet to ensure mental wellbeing.

However, even if we are with family and friends, we may still feel lonely and feel we have to hide our feelings or behave differently around certain people.

Christmas can also remind us of a bereavement, especially when it is the first Christmas without a loved one.

It is good to find different ways to connect with others at this time of year – perhaps by making a phone call instead of sending a card – and to especially look out for those who will be on their own this Christmas.

Mental health challenges

If you are experiencing mental ill health, the added pressure of the festive period can be a challenge. Often your usual routines may be disrupted, making it more difficult to manage and meet your need for Control.

Christmas is often also seen as a big feast – with a table full of festive food and treats for the family to devour. This can be a particular difficulty for those people living with an eating disorder.

It is worth building in specific self-care moments over the festivities – whether this is some quiet moments where we can meet our need for Privacy, or scheduling in some 7/11 breathing or time to journal. Putting in place strategies that help us stay calm will help us better manage the disruption.

Meeting our needs and 12 Christmas tips

We all have physical and emotional needs we must meet to maintain our mental health.

Christmas can be a disruptive time in our lives and make it more difficult for us to meet these needs.

Meeting our need for Control, for example, could be difficult if we’re finding preparing for Christmas a struggle, our need for Privacy if our home is full of relatives, or our need for Emotional Connection if we find ourselves spending the day alone.

It’s important to remember to look after ourselves during the festive period, to meet our needs as best we can and to realise we are not the only one finding the festive period a struggle – we are not alone.

Because Christmas can be a trying time for many of us, Suffolk Mind has put together a host of resources and support to help you through it.

See our 12 tips of Christmas for some helpful advice if you are finding it difficult or see here for useful contacts for finding support at Christmas.